ATTLEBORO -- A live tree has been a mainstay in the Campbell home each Christmas, but this is a year like no other.

With her husband Brian serving with the Army National Guard in Iraq, and with five children to care for on her own, Christine Campbell said the effort was just too overwhelming.

`` The thought of going for a tree, putting it in the van, cutting it and putting it in the stand was more than this woman with five kids could deal with,'' Christine said.

Then along came Betsy and Bob Branagan, who knew the Campbells and offered to pick up a tree and bring it over.

`` Words can't even explain what an unbelievable thing that was,'' said Christine of the kindness shown by the Branagans, whose daughter Rachel died of leukemia a year ago. Here was a family that lost so much, she said, yet they took time to not only bring over a beautiful tree, but to also bake sugar cookies, pack a basket of fresh fruit, and bring decorations for the kids to make.

`` They were so thoughtful. It was unbelievable,'' Christine said. `` I'm so blessed.''

Blessed isn't a word that would readily come to mind to describe a mother who has been struggling emotionally and financially, and who has had to rely on the kindness and generosity of others to help pay the bills and feed and clothe the kids.

With Brian off serving his country, his family has lost close to $30,000 in income while being hit with added medical expenses because the military's health insurance does not cover as much as his private insurance once did.

So this Christmas, Christine and her children, who range in age from 14 to 2, will be doing what they have been doing for nearly a year -- accepting help from individuals and organizations.

`` The saying is that it takes a village to raise a child. I say it takes a whole community to get a family through military deployment,'' Christine said.

Like hundreds of thousands of other American families, the Campbells are struggling to cope on the home front as their loved ones put their lives on the line in a war that is increasingly complicated and controversial.

Just this past week, troops have questioned Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld about the lack of adequate equipment, and eight soldiers are considering filing a lawsuit over the military policy of keeping soldiers in Iraq beyond their enlistment time.

Feb. 21 return possible

Brian's New Hampshire unit was put on alert last Dec. 8, and he was sent to Fort Dix in New Jersey in January, then to Iraq the following month. He's due to arrive back in the states on or about Feb. 21, but his wife will believe it when it happens. `` I certainly am not holding my breath,'' she said, especially with elections in Iraq scheduled for January and with talk of needing even more American troops to control any trouble that may erupt.

With all that going on, Christine said, `` I'm not going to get my hopes up.''

She doesn't question the wisdom of invading Iraq, and knows President Bush had some tough decisions to make after Sept. 11. Yet the fact that many Americans oppose the war does not bother her.

`` Everyone has the right to their opinion,'' she said. `` What does upset me is when I say my husband is in Iraq, and someone says that is what he was trained to do. That chaps me.''

National Guardsmen, she said, are not trained for this kind of combat.

`` It's the National Guard, not the International Guard,'' she said. `` I never dreamed of over a year of deployment in a foreign country.''

Her husband, she said, joined the guard for the training and for the retirement pension. He also joined a New Hampshire unit because that is where they were living at the time. When they moved to Massachusetts eight years ago for Brian's job as a manager at Sullivan Tire Co. in North Attleboro, he stayed with his unit.

Now that it has been activated, the unit offers a lot of help to its families in the form of heating oil, winter coats, Christmas trees and turkeys. But with the Campbells nearly a three-hour drive away, that help is impossible to accept.

Christine said she checked with the local veterans office, and was told she could have been connected with a local unit if one had been deployed, but none currently are. Other veterans' benefits are not available to her, she said, because her income is just enough to keep her from qualifying.

Family gets help

So she had to get help on her own. She obtained fuel assistance, applied for help through the federally funded Women Infants and Children program known as WIC, and accepted support from the local St. Vincent de Paul Society.

She also applied for the Christmas Is for Kids gift drive program, and worked with the National Guard's family support coordinator for Southeastern Massachusetts, who recommended the Campbells as the recipients of a donation from residents of Christopher Heights this week.

The family also has been getting help from her husband's company, and from neighbors, family and friends. Even the local VFW Post 20 sent over a couple of people to repair a leak in her upstairs bathroom.

All this gives her cause to be thankful.

`` This has put me in touch with a lot of people I never would have met,'' she said.

After her husband left, she tried at first to continue working the evening shift in the imaging department at Sturdy Memorial Hospital by hiring baby-sitters. But one night she got a call at work that her 3-year-old had fallen down the stairs and injured his arm. That's when she decided she stop working.

`` I knew my kids were the most important thing,'' she said. `` I needed to be home with them. Homework was not getting done. They were not getting baths. It was just chaotic.''

Now she works only occasionally, when the hospital really needs her, and when a sitter is available. But that means she has lost her salary in addition to the drop in pay between her husband's civilian job and his military one.

Accepting charity is awkward but necessary, Christine said. Yet she is also concerned about accepting too much.

`` I don't want to overdo it,'' she said. `` I don't want to take away from other people.''

Right now, she's behind on her mortgage payments, but the family's Colonial-style home on Park Street is at least protected from foreclosure by federal law. Yet she has kept her children in their activities like volleyball and pre-school, even though that costs money. They need to keep their lives going and are hurting enough by not having their father around, she said. Besides, when he calls, they have something to share with him.

He came home for a two-week leave in August, and now writes often, and calls when he can, but the calls are becoming less frequent, she said.

She tries to cope

Meanwhile, Christine said she is muddling through it all, trying not to overburden her children with chores so they can be free to do their homework and enjoy some free time, even though she herself has none.

She tried to go out for a couple of hours one night, but then spent the whole time thinking about all the things she could be getting done at home. Now she just stays home and gets them done.

`` I don't really have time to indulge myself,'' she said.

She also tries not to spend time imagining the worst.

`` I don't worry a whole lot unless I have something to worry about,'' she said.

Instead, she is taking time to plan for a Christmas that will not be like any other. But thanks to others, there is a tree, and there will be presents under it.

`` The community is really reaching out to get this military family through deployment,'' she said.

GLORIA LaBOUNTY can be reached at 508-236-0333 or at glabountyAthesunchronicle.com.