Since I'm stuck at home with the kids -- having failed to convince my wife that this was another `` take your kids to work'' day -- I thought I would write about an issue that concerns, or should concern, parents everywhere.

No, it does not involve the danger of being in an enclosed space post-Easter with two children who have con sumed the equivalent of the annual chocolate pro duction of two Swiss cantons.

It is the state of children's television today. That state is, in a word, scary. You were worried about drugs? Forget them. Gang violence? A minor concern. Online predators? Well, they are mostly cops pos ing as 14-year-old girls any way. The real threat is from -- brace yourselves concerned parental units -- cartoons.

Yes, I know, your own par ents told you 30 years ago that watching these things would rot your brains. Well, appar ently it was true. Recently, the Parents Television Council (Motto: `` Turn that off and go play outside'' ) released its annual attempt to secure grant money. No, not really. I mean its official annual report.

Among the officially Alarm ing Findings, the council dis covered television aimed (and we use that word advisedly) at children included: E 3,488 incidents of violence for an average of 7.86 instances per hour. Even when the inno cent, `` cartoony'' violence (i.e. an anvil falling on Wile E. Coy ote's head) is extracted, there were still 2,794 instances of vio lence for an average of 6.30 instances per hour.

E 858 incidents of verbal aggression for an average of 1.93 instances per hour.

E 662 incidents of disrup tive, disrespectful or otherwise problematic attitudes and behaviors for an average of 1.49 instances per hour.

What can we learn from these statistics, other than the fact that some members of the Parents Television Council probably suffered severe brain damage after watching every episode of `` Ai-Ai Puffy Ami Umi?'' It's those incidents of `` disruptive, disrespectful or otherwise problematic atti tudes'' that should concern parents, even more than vio lence. (After all, where are most kids likely to get their hands on an anvil?)

Fortunately, the cartoon industry has heard your con cerns and has dedicated itself to producing a new era of more goal-oriented children's programming. As pointed out in a recent article by Thad deus Russell, history professor at Barnard College, (and, yes, this probably does count toward his tenure) characters in such shows as `` Bob the Builder'' and `` Thomas the Tank Engine'' are absolutely brimming with responsibility and cooperative spirit.

Professor Russell is not sure this is a good idea. He points out that the refrain from Bob and cohorts -- `` Can we build it? Yes we can!'' -- sounds like it comes from a North Korean propaganda film, and he longs for the days when cartoon characters did n't have quite such a great work ethic. Think of the most work-averse character in the cartoon inventory: Shaggy from `` Scooby Do.''

So tell your children to stop wasting their time on car toons. Besides, it's your turn in front of the TV and it's time for `` Family Guy.''

TOM REILLY is a Sun Chronicle news editor and Homer Simpson fan club member. He can be reached at 508-236-0332 or at treilly(at)(at)thesunchronicle.com.