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Damn, I've had a bad day. See you all in three months. I'm headed for seclusion.

For rehab.

Have you noticed a certain pattern among Hollywood stars, politicians, sports figures and religious leaders who get themselves into hot water? Like yelling racist comments or enticing minors or slapping someone around or doing too much cocaine at a post-Grammy party or doing someone else's wife?

Off to rehab, complete with monogrammed towels, designer meals and sauna.

Or months incognito, likely sequestered at a pal's billion-dollar ranch. Doesn't it ever make you just a little envious when you've had a really bad day?

My guess is you haul yourself out of bed, feeling wretched, get yourself off to work or school, muddle through in misery and see a therapist, hoping the session is covered by insurance. You certainly won't tell many people because you're not a star and only stars are redeemed over and over again.

Their lives are so challenging, don't you know? All that money and adulation gets rough.

Let's be clear: Addictions are horrific and people need help. They should get it but too often don't because resources are not available. That stinks. What I'm saying is that none of us should look to the hot shots as examples of how to manage what boils down to a colossal deficit of personal responsibility.

For them, life is a cycle of misbehavior, excuses, career damage control, entitlements, then coddling by a public that's so dopey it holds in high regard Paris Hilton - who has only one documented ability - Simon Cowell, whose sole talent is telling other people they have none, and Britney Spears, mother of the year.

San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom has now announced he will undergo outpatient counseling for alcohol use, an act of pre-reelection contrition coming, strangely enough, right after news surfaced that he'd been having an affair with a veteran aide's wife. Ah, poor fellow, the booze did it. Now we understand.

Hollywood.com, an online wag, reports that former boxing champ Mike Tyson checked into the same exclusive rehab facility where actress Lindsay Lohan has been treated for drug and alcohol addiction. It's called Wonderland Center. The website reads like a Bahamas honeymoon escape.

"In our residential programs our clients live in beautiful homes on a 3 acre private gated estate and enjoy the services of a gourmet chef, nutritionist, fitness trainers, yoga instructors and spiritual guides"

Kind of makes you want to develop a problem, doesn't it? Oh, but that's right. You're not a millionaire.

Whatever happened, by the way, to clean-cut Florida Rep. Mark Foley, who suddenly went into spasms of blame after getting caught sending naughty e-mails to congressional pages? Turns out, it was everyone else's fault and off he went, to rehab. Ted Haggard, pastor of the New Life Church, a married man and father who was always quick to disdain gays, fled into oblivion after dalliances with a male prostitute surfaced. He has just re-emerged to announce that he completed sexual counseling and is entirely straight. Cool.

Just for yucks, let's keep a running tally of who's in and who's out. Reigning Miss USA Tara Conner who admits to drug and alcohol abuse, is out of rehab and actually being treated as a credible news item by the likes of NBC's Today Show host Matt Lauer. But wait, "Grey's Anatomy" star Isaiah Washington has reportedly checked into rehab to get to the bottom of recent anti-gay remarks. So the score is

Too bad it isn't so easy for everyday folks, maybe the person sitting next to you at work or at church or in the college classroom. Mostly we commoners have to take our lumps without a publicist to ward off the hounds, hope we have a support system of family and friends that won't fail us and a cheap clinic that can get us straight, then grit our teeth and set out on another day. Who are the true stars?

Look in the mirror. It may be you.

BETSY SHEA-TAYLOR, a former Sun Chronicle editor and writer, is now a freelancer. She can be reached at prosewing@aol.com.