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ATTLEBORO -- On the surface, the gathering of children around a table listening to a story appears to be a typical after-school program activity.

There is the occasional outburst by one or another child trying to guess the next part of the tale, or sometimes a random comment about something that sparked a personal thought the child felt the need to share.

But after a while, there are glimpses of something different taking place.

The children, average age 10, are each being encouraged in their efforts to remain courteous and respectful: to listen and raise their hand to speak, to avoid acting out, and to keep their hands off each other. And while those seem like the same skills enforced in any classroom setting, here at the Total Achievement Program in Attleboro, there is a lot at stake.

The children, who are referred to TAP through the state Department of Mental Health, are learning to overcome social, behavioral, emotional and other problems so they can handle themselves properly in a traditional setting. "They're children that don't get asked to birthday parties or to play at friends' homes," said Marie Palumbo-Hayes, who oversees the non-profit TAP program for Community Care Services. "There have been calls from schools saying they're not allowed on field trips."

Children in TAP are typically age 6-12 and have at times been hospitalized, placed in psychiatric facilities or been on the verge of being placed, said Palumbo-Hayes.

Most of the children, she said, have been referred to TAP after they were forced to leave other after-school programs because of their behavior.

TAP, Palumbo-Hayes stressed, "is not judgmental. It works off (children's) strengths while also meeting their individual needs."

Other agencies and services may be called on for help, and the program combines recreation and community work with therapy. The staff also works to provide support to the families.

There are currently three staffers in the Attleboro unit of TAP, located at 50 Walton St. (other units are in Plymouth and Hyannis). There are also plans to hire a fourth staffer, and the unit has three interns and two volunteers who help on certain days of the week. Transportation is provided.

Children usually stay in the TAP program about a year. That, Palumbo-Hayes said, is typically enough time for children to "get enough under their belts" to go on to a traditional after-school program.

"It's amazing when they're in a strength-based, positive program," she said. "It happens pretty quick."

There are times when a year is not enough time, however. In the past year there have been three students where the staff has extended their efforts, working with those families for several additional months, said Attleboro director Jennifer Schwarz, who has been with the program since it started in the city seven years ago. Those students do not return to the program, however. Staff go to their homes.

"Not too many come back," Schwarz said. To bolster social skills, students go on recreational trips once a month, depending on their behavior. Those trips have taken them on tours of Fenway Park and McCoy Stadium, the Museum of Science, fire and police stations and Bliss Dairy. They've also gone bowling and apple picking, played Monster Golf, taken hayrides and used the Attleboro YMCA's facilities.

"They practice what they've learned here," Schwarz said.

In the summer, the TAP staff and the Attleboro YMCA work together to allow children to attend Camp Finberg in Norton. Some of the TAP children have tried unsuccessfully to attend the camp in the past, but TAP staff are on hand to help handle problems if they arise.

There are times when a student will also be one-on-one with a staff member, going to a store and learning skills such as waiting in line, paying for an item and interacting with people and clerks in a store or other children at a playground.

Soon, the Girl Scouts will be visiting the TAP program regularly, running activities and possibly transitioning TAP participants into the scouts.

To support families, a Parent Information Network and workshop series is held twice a year, and gives parents new ways to deal with and support their children.

TAP will soon move to a new, better-suited space within the Walton Street building, Palumbo-Hayes said. Currently, there is a "relaxation room," a playroom, an office and access to a shared kitchen area. On one of the office doors is a handwritten list of goals for this year, including "be respectful; everyone will make positive choices; no 'rude' comments."

During a recent visit, Schwarz led a group discussion on "how to say no" in a number of potentially dangerous situations. The children were boisterous; a number of times she reminded them to raise their hands before speaking. One young girl noted how she has run away from home in the past; Schwarz told the girl that the two could talk about that later if she wished, trying to keep them on task.

During the discussion, Mike Zucarelli, a program specialist, quietly issued large, phony dollar bills to those who raised their hands before speaking, or displayed other appropriate behavior, along with a few quick words of encouragement. The bills can be cashed in at the TAP "store" for games and other prizes at the end of the week.

After the discussion, Schwarz read "A Bad Case of Stripes" to the children while Zucarelli stood off to the side and observed. Fellow specialist Jessica Ducey took a soft-covered paint roller and gently rolled it across the back of a boy's shoulders and a bit down the spine. She then quietly walked to the other side of the table in the kitchen area and repeated the relaxation treatment for a young girl.

The room grew quieter, and whatever earlier excitement and agitation there was seemed to wane.

Earlier, before snack time, Zucarelli had taken Derrick Dupre, 11, aside for a brief talk. Zucarelli, who sometimes works at Derrick's school, said the child had been successful at keeping a goal of his that day. Derrick chose a pack of gum as his reward.

"I like this place. We do a lot of fun stuff," Derrick said afterward. "I've been in a good mood for the past three months."

Another child, Buddy Sears, 11, apologized as he spoke to a reporter during snack time, wiping away crumbs that had fallen on his shirt. He received one of the reward system bills from Zucarelli for deflecting a conflict earlier when the children were playing outside. Buddy had also offered a rocking chair to another student, again heading off a potential conflict.

Asked if he's felt better about himself since beginning the after-school program, Sears replied directly: "Most definitely."

"I think it's because the staff is helping me out a lot," he said. "I've had hardly any time-outs within the past year."

As the reporter thanked him for his comments, he politely offered his chair as she went to talk to another student.

SUSAN LaHOUD can be reached at 508-236-0398 or at slahoud@thesunchronicle.com.