If you are reading this while you are eating breakfast, may we respectfully suggest that you postpone that until you have finished?

Likewise, lunch, dinner and afternoon snack?

You also might want to avoid driving or operating heavy machinery.

Because this involves our dog, Snowball, and her ability - or lack thereof - to do her, um, "business."

It all started a week ago when, as a responsible pet owner, I loaded up my pocket with plastic bags, grabbed her leash and asked Snowball if she wanted to go for a walk. This was only a courtesy. Snowball's answer is pretty much always an enthusiastic "yes," as expressed by her attempt to get through the front door - nose first - before it is actually open. I always take a few bags, just in case one is torn (not a scenario you want to find yourself in). But on this particular walk, I came back empty-handed, as it were. No problem, I figured. Some days she's just not in the mood.

But when the same thing happened on her walk the next day, and there was no evidence in the backyard that she had been any more successful any other time I had let her out, I began to grow concerned.

I called her vet's office and they scheduled an appointment for her later that day. In the meantime, I was left to worry about what this might mean.

Unique dog

You have to understand that Snowball is a unique dog. And I use the word "unique" in the sense of "not very bright." Going for walks is her favorite thing, even though these are fraught with perils, such as plastic bags on the curb on trash day, kids on scooters and the occasional prowling rabbit - all of which she is terrified by.

She is also not crazy about electrical storms, smoke alarms and birthday parties.

(Evidently the candles on the cake frighten her. For months after my daughter's last party, all we had to do to make Snowball run upstairs was start to hum "Happy Birthday to You.")

But I'd still miss her if she was not here, her snout on my knee, as I type this.

When I got to the vet, the kindly, competent staff at DeWitt Animal clinic took over.

They cleaned her up and did an examination at the, um, seat of the problem. (Can I just mention here that - and I'm speaking as a man who has just paid a vet's bill - vets do not get paid enough.) The doctor recommended a new diet for Snowball and mentioned that the dog had what amounted to a case of diaper rash.

"What you need to do," she said, "is go to the drugstore and get some ointment and apply it."

Yes, "apply it."

So, that is why you will see me wearing a plastic glove, walking a dog who is wearing a wary expression but who is basically back on her old routine.

Did I mention we don't pay vets enough?

TOM REILLY is writing about his dog because his children have forbidden him to write about them. He can be reached at 508-236-0332 or at treilly@thesunchronicle.com.