Like you, and many other concerned Americans, my initial thoughts on hearing about Don Imus' talk radio rant was, "Don Imus is still alive?" (Although, after seeing and hearing Mr. Imus in action over the next few days, we can't be sure that is, in a purely technical sense, true.)

And, perhaps, like mine, your next thought was probably: "How could anyone be so stupid?"

Evidently, it's pretty easy. In fact, America appears to be wallowing in an epidemic of stupidity - criminal stupidity, in fact - at the present moment - and no, we are not talking about the 2004 election. That's only a symptom.

It's not an accident, by the way, that stupidity that is of a different order of magnitude is called "criminal."

In fact, stupid criminals have become a fairly important sub-genre in the world of crime reporting. Plug the words "stupid criminal" into a Web browser of your choice and you'll get well over 100,000 hits.(This is only an estimate, your mileage may vary.)

Here's my favorite from a site actually named dumbcriminals.com, via the Associated Press:

IOWA CITY, Iowa - Banks are great places to leave valuables, like jewelry, birth certificates, cash - and pot.

[A Pizza Pit employee] was accused of depositing a marijuana stash in a Pizza Pit deposit bag and slipping the bundle into a night deposit box at American Bank and Trust last fall.

According to a criminal complaint, [the] delivery driver for Pizza Pit admitted the marijuana was his and that he had inadvertently deposited it.

Advertising on dumbcriminals.com, by the way, seems to be heavily skewed toward defense attorneys and bail bondsmen. Just sayin'.

Not that we have to go that far a field in our search. To take just a couple of examples reported in your local daily:

1) A couple of guys - allegedly of course - set up what police say is a gambling operation in the middle of Attleboro, using as a cover a legitimate business with a storefront, sign and everything. However, they fail to take the step of perfecting this cover by actually registering the business with the city. Police say the operation was making thousands of dollars a week before it was busted. (This makes it one of the most successful businesses in downtown Attleboro, but it's probably not in good taste to point that out.)

2) An individual who specializes in knocking over convenience stores - again, according to the police - does two stores in neighboring communities on successive nights, the second one while police are actually tailing him as a suspect in the first. He then drives his getaway car to a carefully selected secret location: his house. ("They'll never think of looking for me there!")

Anyway, the thing you have to remember is that criminals aren't criminals because they are good at crime. It's because they are bad at everything else. But in this country we believe in giving even stupid criminals a second chance. I understand there's a spot open in talk radio. TOM REILLY is a Sun Chronicle local news editor who is a fan of the film "Dumb and Dumber." You can reach him at 508-236-0332 or at treilly@thesunchronicle.com