It's often noted that parents and children have trouble communicating.

This is because they speak different languages.

This is not the same as when men and women talk to one another. In that case, when a member of one gender says something, the other person knows exactly what they are saying.

For example, when a woman says, "You know, this room could use a little brightening up," her husband immediately understands that he will be living in a world of fabric swatches and paint chips for the foreseeable future and his weekends are booked for the next couple of months.

Or when a man says, "Don't worry dear. I know exactly where I'm going," his significant other knows that what he means is: "We are almost certainly in New Hampshire, possibly Vermont but most likely not Canada, yet. But the only way you are going to get me to stop for directions is when you pry my cold, dead fingers from this steering wheel." The issue of parent and child communication is different. And I don't mean just a problem in keeping up with the latest youth slang.

I, in particular, am hep to that jive, as the kids say. I might even go so far as to say I am down with that.

No, this is not a question of a different grammar or vocabulary, as in, say, the difference between French and Italian. This is more about a different perception of reality, more like the difference between Mandarin Chinese and Klingon.

Let me illustrate.

1) What you say: "Do you have any homework today?"

A) What the child says: "No."

What the child means: "Yes, I have homework but I have no immediate plans to do it."

B) What the child says: "Not much."

What the child means: "Yes, I have homework in every subject and I am going to start thinking about maybe doing it in the very near future."

C) What the child says: "A little." What the child means: "I have a page of math problems you cannot possibly understand, a history report summarizing the Renaissance in Italy with a bibliography and footnotes but someone took all the Renaissance books out of the library before I got there AND a science project that is supposed to have a real, working volcano and it's due tomorrow."

Or take food.

What you say: "What would you like for lunch?"

What the child says: "I don't know. What can I have?"

What the child means: "I'd like you to list every possible menu item before I tell you I want the same peanut butter on white bread that I've had for the last year."

How about travel?

What you say: "OK, we have to leave."

What the child says: "In a minute."

What the child means: "As soon as I go to the bathroom, find my retainer, put on my shoes and finish watching this TV show."

Is it any wonder parents are at a loss for words?

TOM REILLY is a Sun Chronicle local news editor who can be reached at 508-236-0332 or at treilly@thesunchronicle.com. In this space, anyway, he always has the last word.