Several times each week while many of us are home watching American Idol or surfing the net, many members of our community are getting a fix that goes much deeper. They are attending one of several local Al-anon meetings and finding a place to leave some of their life stresses.

It seems lately, I have talked with so many people who have been affected by another's drinking or drugging habits. Most people can count at least one alcoholic or addict in their family or circle of friends. The effects of watching those we care about destroy their health and relationships with alcohol can be torture.

Alcoholism and drug addiction is a disease that can leave a family in ruins. And it clearly is a disease, a progressive chronic illness recognized as such by authorities as the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the American Medical Association. It is well documented that this disease afflicts the entire family of the alcoholic/addict. There is hope, however, and that hope is called Al-anon.

Al-Anon is a fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics who come together for mutual aid in dealing with the devastating affects of addiction. It is an anonymous fellowship. This means that if you happen to see the school nurse or your real estate agent at a meeting, they expect you to keep it to yourself. You can expect the same from them, especially since they are attending for the same basic reasons and no one knows which family member or friend qualifies you both to attend.

People who live with or grew up around alcoholism understand as few others can the devastating effects this disease has on attitudes and behaviors. Feeling isolated and fearful, many family members become approval-seekers to avoid the unpredictable wrath of the alcoholic. In many cases, their psychological stress may cause them to act outward in anger or inward in depression. Learn coping skills

By attending Al-anon meetings, they develop concrete coping tools and gather tremendous support so that they can attain contentment and even happiness in their lives whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not. Also, the alcoholic situation is bound to improve as these new healthy ideas are applied in the home.

Members I spoke with notice such a difference in their lives within the first few meetings that it keeps them coming back for more. One member from the Wednesday night Al-anon group in Attleboro held at Centenary Methodist Church shared part of her story with me. We'll call her Jo to protect her anonymity. Jo enthusiastically remarked that she wants to welcome anyone who is struggling with the affects of alcoholism, "I have found so much hope in Al-anon and I want to share that hope."

When Jo first joined she had a pattern of quitting and then dragging herself back. "I didn't want to be a part of Al-anon, but it was useless denying that I lived with alcoholism and finally I just surrendered and decided to keep coming. That was 15 years ago."

She shared that the best part of Al-anon was meeting other people who really understood her anger and frustration. "They taught me how to turn that around so that I could be a lot happier, even living with the alcoholic."

Keeping the focus on herself is a concept that Jo talks a lot about. "I learned I am the only one I can change and that helped me to let go of my anger and resentment. I keep coming back after all these years because I'm a human being and continue to feel anger and resentment in all parts of my life and Al-anon helps me deal with it."

With a laugh, Jo adds, "Al-anon doesn't take away your problems, it just helps you deal with them and have a much happier outcome."

The group that meets on Wednesdays in Attleboro is one of two local groups that have recently celebrated anniversaries.

Another meets at the United Methodist Church in Plainville on Saturday mornings at 11 a.m.

The Plainville group has a focus on helping adult children of alcoholics cope with the lasting influence of growing up in an alcoholic home. Adult child meetings also offer hope of changing the patterns of thought and behavior that are unwittingly passed on from generation to generation.

For more information on local Al-anon groups, please call the area Al-anon office in Westborough, Ma. at 508-366-4663.

SHARON FARINACCI of Mansfield, a certified parent-child mediator and freelance writer, works at helping senior citizens publish life memoirs.