Last modified: Friday, June 15, 2007 1:00 AM EDT Ross struggled with vote JIM HAND THE SUN CHRONICLE WRENTHAM - State Rep. Richard said he knows he serves a conservative district that opposes gay marriage and wants a ban put before voters. He said Thursday he also knows in his head that to represent those views he should have voted to put a proposed ban on the ballot so the voters could decide the issue. But, he said, as he wrestled with the issue, the feelings in his heart started to change the thoughts in his head. He finally decided to change his position and vote against the ban while talking about his father with a visitor Wednesday. The visitor had asked Ross about his business as a funeral home director. Ross, R-Wrentham, said he was recalling how his father was an undertaker before him. His father told him that the business teaches you that everyone is entitled to respect and dignity. "As I told that story, I started to cry and had to excuse myself. That story came from up above and was dropped on me," he said. The memory of his father teaching him the importance of respect confirmed for him that he had to vote against the ban because it would have subjected gay couples to "hatred and bigotry," he said. Ross said gay marriage has been allowed in Massachusetts for about three years now. Couples have been united and families formed in that time. Gay couples have never done anything to hurt him or his family, so why should he hurt them? he asked. The ban would not have provided any alternative forms of protection for gay couples like civil unions, another factor in deciding to vote against it, he said. Ross was one of a handful of legislators who changed their position to help defeat the ban. He said he knows some in his district of Wrentham, Norfolk, and Plainville, along with some of his Republican colleagues, will be angry at him and feel betrayed. "I have to suffer whatever the consequences or whatever peril might be, but I'm at peace with myself," he said. There have been stories in the media about Gov. Deval Patrick and Democratic leaders in the Legislature pressuring lawmakers to change their positions and vote against the ban. There have also been unsubstantiated rumors of jobs being offered for votes. Ross said he was never threatened or promised anything. He said he tried to talk to voters, not lobbyists during the process. As one of a handful of Republicans in the Legislature, Statehouse leaders tended to ignore him and concentrate their lobbying efforts on fellow Democrats, he said. "One thing about being a Republican in Massachusetts, you really are a free agent," he said. Ross said his vote might have constituted "political suicide," but he is glad he voted the way he did. As he traveled to Boston Thursday to cast his vote, he said he remembered his mother's favorite Shakespearean quote: "To thine own self be true."