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ZUCK: Have gun, will tremble
Top Headlines "This here's the easiest to start with. It's got less kick so it's easier to control." Into my hand he plops a Smith & Wesson .357 Magnum revolver. It's only the second time in my life I've actually touched a gun (the first being during a Boy Scout trip). My hand droops under the surprising weight of the pistol. He chuckles. What am I doing here? It's Saturday afternoon, and having lost too much money all too quickly at the poker tables, my buddy and I are seeking refuge from the dry Nevada heat at a gun club a few miles off the Strip. We can't remember whose idea it was, but neither of us thought we'd actually go through with it. "That's a great little gun there," the other salesguy chimes in. "I'm giving one to my niece for her 21st birthday. She's a fine shot." I'm not sure whether he's boasting or poking fun at me - probably both. Apparently, I'm holding a girl's gun. "Guns are great to have around," he continues. "Just like seat belts and fire extinguishers - you don't know when you're going to need one, but when there's an intruder in my house I'll be glad to have it." I look around and watch a dozen or so gun-toting, plaid-wearing bearded guys nod in agreement. I decide now's not the time to mention that children can't accidentally kill themselves by playing with seat belts and a fire can't steal your fire extinguisher and use it against you. Having completed my eight-second firearm tutorial, I don my safety goggles and large red earmuffs and head for the shooting range. Carefully cradling my pistol and a box of 50 .38 Specials to my chest, I ease my way down to lane number six. Every few seconds I violently twitch as another gun is fired; even with ear protection the noise is deafening. I'll be glad to get out of here without soiling my undergarments. I take my target - a large off-white sheet featuring a potential intruder's head and torso - and clip it to the metal pole above me. A flick of a switch sends it flying backward into space. I load my pistol and take aim, briefly wondering how much it hurts to accidentally shoot oneself in the foot. I squeeze off shot after shot, jumping at the sound of each one. Some people feel powerful with a pistol in their hand; I feel terror. I reload rapidly, hoping I run out of rounds before I run out of luck and end up with nine fingers. It's not until I leave that I relax enough to take a look at my target. Though I aimed at my intruder's heart on every shot, most sailed wide, past his right shoulder. When I find an intruder in my house, I'll just throw a fire extinguisher at him. BILL ZUCK, a former Foxboro resident, is relieved to still have all of his digits. You can reach him at wcz78@yahoo.com.
Post Your Comments Bella wrote on Aug 7, 2007 2:39 PM: " Thanks for the great laugh. That is, the bloggers. Oh, and Bill, thank you too for a great laugh. Another good column. " MKD wrote on Aug 7, 2007 1:42 PM: " To Bill D: Why are you picking on PR when you're doing the same thing you're accusing them of? " PR wrote on Aug 7, 2007 12:31 PM: " To Bill D....looks like you are hiding.... chicken. " Bill D' wrote on Aug 7, 2007 10:57 AM: " PR wrote on Aug 6, 2007 2:03 PM:
" What's pathetic is that you wrote what appears to be your real name. Ever hear of GOOGLE loser? "
PR, what's more pathetic is that obviously in your world no one dares take responsibility for their words or actions, and hides behind initials and INTERNET handles. Andreas Miller doesn't have anything to fear from Google, but rather from ignorant posters like yourself who can't discuss differing points of view without turning it into a personal attack. Now I've gone and done the same thing to you. I should know better, you can't win an argument with an ignorant person. " dg wrote on Aug 6, 2007 8:58 PM: " Y'all are, I believe, missing Mr. Zuck's point. He went there with the *intent* of being scared and intimidated, so he could tell all of us about the experience. He is proud of his fear and wishes us to join in in fearing. " Bill D' wrote on Aug 6, 2007 2:55 PM: " What a pathetic piece of writing this is. I'm glad people like you stay home and wet themselves instead of learning to control a firearm like they learn to control fire, cars, animals, water and many other parts of our environment.
If the writer had some knowledge and training with a firearm, he would not have to worry about the fear of guns.
Fear comes from what we don't know. Mr Zuck admits he didn't know what he was doing and he scared himself. Wouldn't you think a person (I didn't say "a man") would want to get over their irrational fear of an inanimate object, and begin to understand that it is how they are used that make them valuable tools or "big bad scary things." " PR wrote on Aug 6, 2007 2:03 PM: " What's pathetic is that you wrote what appears to be your real name. Ever hear of google loser? " AKM wrote on Aug 6, 2007 2:02 PM: " to Andreas Miller, how dare you judge this person based on a written article. Based on your entry, I see you to be...well i can't write it on here. It wouldn't be posted. But I'm sure those who read what you wrote can see what I mean. " Andreas Miller wrote on Aug 6, 2007 1:25 PM: " No offense meant, but what a pathetic hoplophobe the author is! Claiming to hope not to "soil his pants" from firing a .38? This is a perfect example of the emasculation of the modern male. " Sue Doe Nim wrote on Aug 6, 2007 12:59 PM: " Great article.
It shows that not everyone should own a gun. People like you require more training.
People like me would be happy to show you more.
Also, try a .22, less kick or an outdoor range where the echo is less deafening and if you pee your pants the sun will dry them.
http://suedoenim.blogspot.com " HM-UK wrote on Aug 6, 2007 12:09 PM: " Dear Bill, I’m not sure who the bigger fool is, the shooting range representative for thinking that it would be funny to let an inexperienced shooter use a pistol of such a calibre or you for being brow beaten into doing so. The .357 is a fine gun in all its guises but power is nothing without control. The sales guy may be giving one to his niece but he does quantify this by stating that she’s a good shot.
Guns are good to have around especially if you are using one for personal protection. And if you do have one for personal protection, it should not be out of your reach when you feel you may need it. At other times it should be kept secure. This is something that every responsible gun owner knows or is taught.
At present you are a victim, but getting a gun will not prevent that. May I humbly suggest that you get in contact with a well organised shooting range or if you do not know how to find one, the N.R.A. will be more than pleased to help you obtain responsible and informative instruction. After much practice with increasing calibres you should then be able to hit something with the .357. You never know it might even save your life one day, just like a seat belt or fire extinguisher. " JoeMash wrote on Aug 6, 2007 9:57 AM: " G. Gordon Liddy
“There are essentially two kinds of people in the world and they can be distinguished easily by their reaction to life-threatening situations such as the invasion of their home. All resort to prayer. But it is by the text of their prayers ye shall know them. For some it’s a version, ‘God, please don’t let them find me’. Then when found, ‘God, please don’t let them hurt me.’ Sometimes the plea is for a miracle, “God, please let the police get here in time!’ Such persons have elected to be life’s victims and indeed, only God can help them.
There are others, however, who’ve chosen not to be victims and to whom it has occurred that God may, from time to time, be busy on another line and it might be prudent to do the necessary thing to protect themselves. As they point their loaded shotgun at the door of the room they’re in, their prayer, left on the Divine answering machine, is for the intruder: “May God have mercy on your soul.”
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