Last modified: Wednesday, December 5, 2007 12:24 AM EST FARINELLA: Few ex-jocks can cut it BY MARK FARINELLA SUN CHRONICLE STAFF Early Tuesday morning, I happened upon a revelation of sorts. It was about 2:30 a.m., and I had just returned to my hotel room after the Patriots' 27-24 victory over the Baltimore Ravens at M&T Bank Stadium. Buzzed as I was from the rush of deadline-writing adrenaline, I was in no condition to go to sleep. So I flicked on the big-screen plasma that I couldn't afford at home, and hoped to catch some of ESPN's oft-repeated post-game coverage. That's when I realized something in a moment of pure clarity. It's not the traditional, mainstream football press that's been the most critical of your New England Patriots during their quest for perfection. It's the ex-jocks - the former athletes who, during their own playing days, were often critical of those who covered it but hadn't played it, and have since segued into comfortable gigs with the broadcast media now that their playing days are done - who have mounted the most pointed attacks upon the Patriots' mettle since their unbeaten streak reached the level of national notice. The first show I caught featured Merril Hoge, the former Pittsburgh and Chicago running back, and Mark Schlereth, the former Washington and Denver offensive guard. The banter back and forth between the two ex-jocks was almost totally negative where the Patriots were concerned - how badly they played against Baltimore, how flawed their roster now looks since they've had to win two close games in a row, and how they have no chance to complete an unbeaten run through the season. Schlereth, particularly, appeared to be taking great glee in the fact the Patriots have appeared vulnerable as other teams throw everything they've got at them in the effort to stop the winning streak before it makes history. Now, I'm all for fair comment. It's what I do for a living, and I've always taken the approach that while I may not agree with what you say, I would defend to the death your right to say it. The Chicago Tribune attributed that quote to Voltaire for many years at the top of its editorial pages, until some question arose over the true origin of the saying. Nonetheless, it's a worthy thought. However, if the above opinions had been espoused by me, or Dan Shaughnessy, or Ron Borges, or Jim Donaldson, or any of the popular local knights of the keyboard with whom you may be familiar, many sports fans would automatically dismiss them as the bitter rantings of angry old men who are out to "get" the Kraft family, the Patriots, and everyone who loves both. Sure, some Patriots' fans will react just as negatively toward fellows such as Hoge and Schlereth, who have displayed a documented anti-Patriot bias, or for national talking heads as Cris Collinsworth, the ex-Bengal receiver who never minces his words about a myriad of topics and, from the confidence he shows in his own opinions, is often regarded as biased by those whose teams don't earn his favor. But for the most part, the "ex-jock" label gives too many people a form of instant credibility that may not be deserved. For instance, I cringe every time I turn on my radio and I hear Fred Smerlas pontificating about anything on WEEI. The former Buffalo Bills' nose tackle, who had a few cups of coffee with some very bad Patriots' teams near the end of his career to make the hometown fans in Waltham happy, puts his figurative love affair with the Patriots on display every time he opens his mouth. Probably because the Patriots help justify his WEEI pay through the station's promotional relationship with the team, Smerlas appears to love all things Patriot (except for Bill Parcells, who cut him). And he certainly does have insight into NFL play that someone who didn't play the game would not possess. But he simply does not project as having the brainpower or intellectual maturity to express those thoughts in a manner other than what you'd expect to hear shouted at ear-shattering volume in a sports bar filled with inebriated fans. I used to enjoy listening to Smerlas many years ago, when he was teamed with Ted Sarandis and before someone told him he might be good at radio, because the over-serious Sarandis was the perfect counterbalance for Smerlas' jock personality. Now, however, Smerlas has turned that into insufferable shtick - and teamed with fellow ex-jock Steve DeOssie on Glen Ordway's afternoon shout fest, there are no limits to the nonsense because the WEEI beancounters see the ratings and believe that's what people want. At the other end of that spectrum is ESPN's Emmitt Smith, the former Dallas running back, who is trying his best to project himself as a thoughtful and intelligent analyst who also happened to be one heck of a pro player. If anything, Smith has been too cautious to date, still too close to his playing days to really let loose. But on the occasions when I've seen him, he has made an effort to be measured, honest and intelligent in his remarks instead of acting the loud fool (such as Shannon Sharpe) or attempting to cling to relevance by making bombastic observations that are supported only through little more than casual knowledge and observation (such as Tom Jackson). I'm also a fan of the pairing of Keyshawn Johnson and Parcells on ESPN. Johnson seems to be trying to take his role as analyst seriously, but not so seriously that it stifles his personality. Having Parcells next to him most of the time provides a good guiding influence - but I've yet to see the Tuna cut loose and offer the TV audience what's really lurking inside that head of his. It's as if Parcells always holds back because there might be a job waiting on the horizon where he'd have to answer for his comments among his peers. One would hope that Bill would stick to his football retirement and become every bit as good an analyst as he was a coach. In fact, before ABC gave up Monday Night Football and sent it over to the "B team" at ESPN, I thought the best possible broadcast booth would have had Al Michaels on play-by-play and Parcells and Collinsworth as the analysts - two guys with strong opinions and plenty of credibility who were also poised and comfortable behind the camera. I still think NBC should take note of that suggestion when John Madden's star finally fades and there are openings in the Sunday Night Football booth. Until then, I suppose I'll have to be satisfied with what's on the boob tube or the radio - the good, the bad, or the ugly. In most of the instances, I can easily dismiss what I've heard because 99 percent of the time, I've seen a heck of a lot more of the Patriots than the talking head who just spouted off. The other good thing about watching these guys late at night? I'm usually so tired, I forget what they've said just moments before I enter Dreamland. MARK FARINELLA may be reached at 508-236-0315 or via e-mail at mfarinel@thesunchronicle.com