Last modified: Wednesday, April 16, 2008 1:43 AM EDT KESSLER: From 'kill Bill' to hero's welcome home When former Boston Red Sox first baseman Bill Buckner slowly walked to the pitcher's mound at Fenway Park last week for the 2008 home opener, the applause from the Fenway faithful was deafening. Normally, a thunderous ovation to welcome back a former player who was a key contributor on a pennant-winning team would be considered routine, but Buckner's purposeful strides to the Fenway mound on April 8, 2008, were highly unusual. That's because Buckner - for reasons known all too well to Sox fans old enough to be awake for the 10th inning of Game 6 of the 1986 World Series against the New York Mets - made a critical error. The Sox had been leading the game 5-3 entering the bottom half of the inning, and they were three outs away from their first world title in 68 years. They would get within a strike of winning a few times, before their optimism was transformed into the dreadful pain that Red Sox fans had known since 1918. Eventually, the winning run scored after a ground ball went through Buckner's legs, and even though Game 7 remained (which the Sox lost after taking a 3-0 lead), Buckner was made out to be the goat, a stigma that endured until last week, because Buckner had apparently declined an invitation to return for the 2005 opening day bash celebrating the first World Series win in 86 years the previous October. This year, however, was different, with Buckner accepting the team's invitation to throw out the first ball last week, when the 2007 World Championship flag was hoisted in center field. The ensuing exorcism on the mound brought tears to Buckner, and prompts this letter: Dear Bill: You probably don't want to hear from me, because I'm one of the fans whom you despised all these years. Yes, I held you - among others - responsible for the 1986 debacle, and I make no excuses. I'm a diehard Sox fan who was depressed the entire winter after the World Series loss that year, and like a lot of Sox fans, we had to blame someone, since our hearts had been smashed, and you were the Chosen One. However, your appearance last week, which came close to the Passover season when those of my faith celebrate the miracle of the Red Sea parting, convinced me that your walk to the mound was a symbolic parting of the Charles River, and therefore, a miracle worth savoring. In the euphoria that followed the 2004 title, I acknowledge uttering, "I even forgive Bill Buckner." I believe a lot of Red Sox fans felt that way, and would have been glad to welcome you back. But we heard that you said you felt like there was nothing you had to be forgiven for, and maybe that's why you chose not to return for the 2004 title celebration. After the 2004 win, I no longer despised you, and I on occasion would feel a bit ashamed of how I had felt about you all those years, so when I heard that you were throwing out the first pitch, my reaction was, "It's about time!" I really wanted to see the fans salute you because you had more than 200 hits during the 1986 regular season and I know you were a warrior, and it was about time for everyone to not so much forgive you (that implies that you were the only person at fault in 1986, and you weren't), but to say how terribly sorry we are for the way that some of us treated you. I was appalled to hear about how some members of your family had been treated, and how you received death threats, something that's sick and way over the top. Those incidents make me feel bad about holding a grudge against you all these years Looking back, holding a grudge was terribly unfair given that you guys rallied after being one strike away from certain defeat against the Angels in the ninth inning of the fifth game of the 1986 American League Championship Series, and sometimes that's the way life is; what goes around, comes around, and we as fans just have to accept that. In closing, please accept my apology for blaming you for the 1986 loss, which should be long in the past. Besides, the 2004 and 2007 titles have been liberating for Sox fans. How liberating? Well, maybe your mound appearance will be followed later in 2008 with an appearance by Don Zimmer, the manager from 1978, to throw out the first ball. After all, miracles do happen. LARRY KESSLER is a Sun Chronicle local news editor working on a 12-step program to be a kinder, gentler Red Sox fan. He can be reached at lkessler@theusnchronicle.com or at 508-236-0330.