Last modified: Sunday, May 4, 2008 2:00 AM EDT ZUCK: It's right time to do the wrong things My fellow Americans: This is not the time to do anything rash. The economy is in trouble. Housing foreclosures are on the rise, consumer confidence is down, and simply uttering the phrase "gas prices" will give migraines to anyone within earshot. Healthcare expenses are skyrocketing. Insurance premiums and medication costs are going through the roof. Airlines are merging just to stay afloat. Food is becoming more expensive. Whether you're 6 or 26 or 66 years old, chances are good that by the time you reach retirement age, Social Security will be a thing of the past. We're fighting a seemingly endless war abroad and poverty remains a vicious beast at home. Tornados are ripping through the Midwest, wildfires are already burning again in Southern California, and the hurricane season is just a few months away. Our oceans are so polluted that it's dangerous to eat fish. And "global warming" might not actually be a myth invented by Al Gore. For all these reasons and more, now is not the time to do anything silly. Now is the time to be steadfast and responsible, to buckle down and save your money and plan for the future. The last thing you should do is go out on a shopping spree and recklessly spend your money. But this is also exactly why, when your Bush check arrives in the mail, you should do just that - go out and spend, spend, spend! Listen here, people. Many of you will be getting a cool six hundred bucks - or twelve hundred if you claim to have a spouse - in the coming weeks. You must absolutely, without a doubt, do your civic duty and spend every last cent of that money! But don't do it to boost the economy. Don't do it to express your support of the president or your gratitude to Congress. Do it because it simply feels good. Do it because it's now or never. By the time the summer hits, gas will have topped five bucks a gallon, your house will have lost another several grand in value, and the only vacation you'll be able to afford will be a walk down the street to grandma's house. Everything you know about the economy will be telling you to save your money. Put it in a savings account. Buy a 12-month CD. Contribute to your tax-deferred retirement account. Every cell in your brain, every ounce of your being will tell you that you should not under any circumstances go out and use it to buy something you don't absolutely need. And that's why, when you hit the mall with your economy-boosting check in hand, it will feel so amazingly good to blow it all on something you don't need and didn't even want before you saw it in the store window. Go, my fellow Americans. Go out and do what you do best and spend like you've never spent before. It may be the most exhilarating shopping trip you experience in a long, long time. BILL ZUCK, a Foxboro native living in San Diego, is going to spend his entire rebate check on chocolate chip cookies. And maybe a glass of milk. You can reach him at wcz78@yahoo.com.