Last modified: Tuesday, May 6, 2008 3:25 PM EDT LIFE 101: A badge is not a license to dominate, intimidate BY LAUREN CARTER/FOR THE SUN CHRONICLE I'm going to admit something that may or may not be unpopular: I generally don't dislike cops. It seems like whenever cops are at a distance - when I listen to them talk at a meeting, when I watch them direct traffic, when I see them helping a stranded motorist - I have a healthy respect for them. But that all seems to change when I get up close and personal. Take my experience last week. It was after midnight, I was tired and had work left to do, so I took a little ride down to CVS to get some Starbucks drinks and hopefully reenergize. On the way home, I noticed an SUV tailing me rather closely on Route 1. A little further down the street, I realized it was a cop. Not to worry, I told myself, I was below the speed limit. Then I took a left turn and not long after, to my surprise, the flashers went on. At this point, I made what I later realized were a few critical mistakes. One, I turned my radio down, but not all the way off. Two, I was smoking a cigarette. (Yes, I'm still smoking. I'm working on that, though, I swear.) I haven't been pulled over in years, so I'd kind of forgotten the protocol when a cop pulls you over, i.e., the fact that your life basically has to stop while they decide whether or not you're driving drunk, hiding drugs or firearms in your vehicle, or just sketchy enough to warrant further investigation. After I finally dug up my license and registration, the cop told me I'd been driving "excessively slow," about 30 miles an hour. Now, I didn't know there was such a thing as "excessively slow." But I do know that when there are speed traps every other mile, as there are in North Attleboro, the line between "excessively slow" and "excessively fast" is excessively thin, and I'd rather be on the slow side. Plus, I knew I'd been driving closer to 40. But arguing with cops is pretty pointless. Apparently I'd also cut the corner on the left turn I took and driven over the yellow lines in getting to my side of the road. Interesting. I didn't know this was illegal, but evidently it is. In that case, I'd better change my driving habits fast. Now despite both of these "infractions," we both know he was pulling me over to see if I'd been drinking, which I hadn't, unless you count a few sips of a Starbucks mocha frappucino. I had however, been smoking, and when I blew the smoke out the window and it drifted into the cop's face, he became decidedly flustered. This, after I asked him to repeat a question he asked (probably whether or not I'd been drinking) and he sarcastically inquired as to whether I was having a good time listening to my radio instead of just asking me to turn it down. Nail clearly in the coffin, he told me to "wait here" while he went back to his cruiser. Great, I thought. Somehow a trip to get caffeine has turned into a bad comedy skit and a ticket for an infraction I didn't know existed. But to my surprise, instead of the $100 ticket I could have gotten, I walked away with a warning, and the knowledge that I should turn my radio off immediately upon being pulled over and not blow smoke in the direction of a police officer, ever. I guess I should have been grateful, but really, I just felt that I'd wasted 15 minutes of my life while realizing I'm a klutz when it comes to interacting with cops. And that I kind of don't like the treatment I receive during these interactions. I'm a generally law-abiding citizen, and I admire the job that cops are entrusted to do. But I don't always like the way they do that job. The problem is that cops go from dealing with the average Joe on the street to crazed lunatics they have to subdue. I imagine their stress level normally rides pretty high and they are constantly on edge, so the slightest provocation, say a little smoke blown in their direction, incites levels of frustration it would take the common man much more aggravation to reach. But I've seen too many cops being unnecessarily belligerent, yelling for no good reason when talking in a normal tone of voice would do, being sarcastic and condescending, or simply being rude while you're expected to be humble and acquiescing, to know that the dynamics of the cop-civilian relationship are more than a little out of whack and unchecked power often has destructive consequences. A badge is not a license to dominate, intimidate, abuse or act out those things that the general public would likely get arrested for doing. A badge is an oath to protect and serve. It would be nice if more cops did that in a manner appropriate to the situation at hand, one that, if not friendly, was at least in the same vein as the treatment they would expect to receive. LAUREN CARTER, a frequent Sun Chronicle contributor, can be reached at lauren-carter@hotmail.com.