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It's true, I don't speak Klingon, but most people do without realizing it. It is mostly people who enter local fast food restaurants.

I work at Kentucky Fried Chicken, or KFC, and people come in and ask for the craziest things. No, we do not sell Colonial Strips, but we do sell Colonel Strips.

People think that because they have skimmed the menu, they know everything. Raising your voice and pointing sharply at the menu above my head will not make me understand your Klingon any better.

If someone calls a twisted wrap a toasted wrap, they are getting a toasted wrap. It is not my fault if you don't know what you ordered, even if in Klingon a twisted wrap is a toasted wrap. I shouldn't have to get you a new one; you messed up, not me. It's alright; yell at me a little louder about how it's my fault. That will make me want to make your twisted wrap to the best of my ability.

When you ask me for something that's not on the menu, but you saw an advertisement for it on television - "You know the one with the chicken" - we don't have it. I'm sorry that my register and all the food we have is based off the menu that according to you is "wrong." My ability to touch the register screen, even though it is relatively fast, is not as fast as your ability to talk. I'm sorry my hands don't work as fast as the speed of sound. If I ask you to repeat something, just do it. Don't look at me like I'm speaking Klingon because if I was, I would be able to understand what you just said.

Working in the fast food industry isn't the worst job ever because I could always be shoveling poop on a farm, but it could be a lot easier.

The customers could use a few tips when entering a local fast food restaurant. They should know what they want. If they need to ask the cashier some questions, that's great and I encourage it. Please talk to the cashier; anyone would prefer to explain the menu rather than make the whole order over again.

Also, the customer should know that even if the cashier talks fast, sometimes their ears don't work as fast as their lips. Slow it down a little, enunciate, repeat yourself when necessary, and try to avoid the urge to get angry or give dirty looks.

The employee deserves as much respect as the customer does. Even though there are some incompetent workers who do not deserve respect, try to dole it out as much as possible. It's much easier to smile at someone who might smile back.

The most important thing to remember is if you know what you want and order correctly, the employee will usually get it right.

If the customer speaks Klingon, no one will understand what they want, so if it's possible, try speaking one of Earth's native languages.