Today is the last day of the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games, and I think I'm going to really miss it. What an action-packed couple of weeks it's been - the non-stop competition, the upsets, the victories, the perfect excuse for me to spend hours on the couch in front of the television each and every night.

I cheered out loud for our swimmers, I shed tears whenever our little gymnasts took a misstep, and I consulted reference books to figure out what exactly a pentathlon entailed. But nothing matched the level of emotion I felt each time I witnessed an athlete climbing the podium to accept a gold medal. The smiles on the faces of these rowers, runners, swimmers, weightlifters and all the rest were a joy to see.

What an unbelievable feeling it must be to stand atop that Olympic podium and know that on this day of competition, after countless hours, weeks, months, and years spent training for this moment, you were the best in the world at what you did. Not a soul on the planet was better than you.

Now that I've seen so many of these exhausted but ecstatic athletes shine in their moments of glory, I'm beginning to think that I deserve a moment of glory like that, too. Sure, these Olympic athletes trained for years with almost pathological single-mindedness, pushing aside indulgences the rest of us take for granted like an occasional dessert or sleeping past 7 a.m. on a Saturday. But I think I deserve to win some kind of medal of my own. Why shouldn't I? I'm a pretty decent human being - I stop for pedestrians in crosswalks; I obey the 10-item limit on the express grocery lines; I don't cheat on my taxes. Much.

While most athletes get to the Olympics by training to compete in events that are already Olympic sports, my best shot at gold seems to be to convince the International Olympic Committee to add an event that I happen to be incredibly good at. I've never been the best in the world at any of your typical sports, but I have a pretty remarkable track record at some other near-sports. Here, a sampling of some of my proudest accomplishments: When I was 11, I was the best in summer camp at making paper airplanes; mine flew the farthest, and I won a Popsicle. In high school I was the best on my team at purposely hitting tennis balls into the woods whenever the coach wasn't looking. And in kindergarten, I was best at being quiet after recess, so I always got to get the first carton of milk.

Sure, I didn't spend years training to excel in any of these difficult events, but I still think my natural talents should be recognized. Join me in my letter-writing campaign to the International Olympic Committee, and you might just help me live my dream of climbing atop that podium and accepting Olympic gold for my world-class paper airplane-making skills. And maybe they'll even give me a Popsicle, too.

BILL ZUCK is ready to start training for London 2012 - well, maybe later. You can reach him at wcz78@yahoo.com.