Last modified: Tuesday, September 2, 2008 9:14 AM EDT Growing up, coming out BY JENNIFER ROACH FOR THE SUN CHRONICLE The fall season means Blue Pride is back at Attleboro High. And while bleeding blue for the bombardiers is a cherished tradition for any AHS student, these days a new kind of pride has emerged on campus. Gay pride. Nestled in a city that has a history of mixed support for and against gay rights, the high school, like many in the Attleboro area area and across the country, has become a more open environment for teens exploring their sexuality. The creation of a gay-straight alliance at AHS has been the first major step toward creating a wider acceptance of gay peers at the school. Felicia, 16, who chose not to give her last name, has been involved in the club since she started at Attleboro High two years ago and says the club promotes unity and acceptance on campus. "It brings together all different kinds of students and helps students understand gays and the struggle of going through school being different," Felicia said. And while the high school still has some trouble with verbal abuse and harassment, Felicia said it has become a safe environment for GLBT teens like herself. Felicia says she always knew in the back of her mind that she was different, adding that she finally came to terms with being bisexual when she was in the sixth grade. "I've been brought up to accept everybody, so it was never really a big deal to me," she said. "One of my best friends is gay." Still, she says coming out is a daunting task for teens, and it is hard to know for sure who you can trust. "I try to keep it to myself," she said. Felicia said she has only talked about her bisexuality with her two closest friends. Her mother found out through somebody else, but Felicia said she, too, was still supportive and loving. "I don't deny it. But telling people usually makes them see you differently." One of the most successful events put on by the gay-straight alliance, she said, is participation in the National Day of Silence, an observance in which students draw attention to issues facing the gay community by taking a vow of silence for the day, or at least part of it. "It is to show students how difficult it is for anybody to come out," she said. "They feel silenced by society for being different." The shrinking closet Having groups like these at schools, along with increased positive media for the gay community, has encouraged more youths to come out while still living with their parents. A change in modern society, what many experts on homosexuality are calling the phenomenon of the "shrinking closet," has made coming out younger not only a more feasible and accepted option, but also a more common practice. Today's teenagers grew up in a world that openly discussed gay rights and issues. TV shows like "Will and Grace" became smash hits while they were still in diapers. Songs like Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" make being out and gay all but mainstream. And when gay marriage was legalized in Massachusetts in 1994, the current freshman class at Attleboro High was still in elementary school. "I think the trend is due to generational change," said Michael Kocet, president of the Association for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Issues in Counseling and a Bridgewater State College professor. "Younger generations are more open-minded -they have gay friends, cousins, roommates . It's not as polarizing an issue for them." Working in the department of counselor education at Bridgewater since 2002, Kocet teaches classes in counseling gay clients as well as a class in young adult literature for gays. He previously worked as a clinical therapist for teens at Arbour-Fuller Hospital in South Attleboro. While Kocet said that traditionally many gays chose not come out until living on their own or in an experimental environment, like a college, he has noticed an increasing number young teens coming out and feeling accepted by their peers and families while still living at home. "I'm seeing at Bridgewater more and more GLBT students coming out earlier and earlier," Kocet said. "Now, many come into college having been involved (in gay rights and issues) in high school, looking to continue their work. It really used to be mainly a college experience." The trend is similar at nearby Wheaton College in Norton. "Youths are trying to figure out today at a younger age who they are and where they belong," said Elena Wong, who works in administration at Wheaton and was a 2007 graduate of the college. Wong, a sociology major, wrote her senior thesis, "On their own terms: The process of coming out for young adults," after interviewing students on campus about their coming out experiences. While she reported hearing an assortment stories, many were positive. One young woman reported a strong sense of relief upon coming out, Wong said. Another had to divorce his parents because his father was so upset. Because of the lack of certainty in coming out to parents and loved ones, and the apprehension that stems from that, many teens choose to come out first with their peers, and later with older friends and family. "It is easier - but it varies," Wong said. "And that's one of the most challenging aspects they have to face. Our generation is more open and accepting, but coming out to older generations is so much harder to do because they are so set in their ways." Challenges ahead Despite the positive and affirming culture students might now enjoy in their high school and college years, many experts say there is a long road ahead for openly gay teens, even for those living in liberal states like Massachusetts. Joe Solmonese, an Attleboro native and president of the Human Rights Campaign, the nation's largest GLBT civil rights organization, said that while he's seen many improvements, the struggle for equality still exists. "It (coming out) may be a more positive experience than it might have been 10 or 20 years ago, but I talk to far too many young people who in this day and age come out and are thrown out of their home by their parents, or let go from a job, or lose their friends because of it," Solmonese said. "I still hear too many horror stories and see too many heartbreaking situations." An unintended consequence of teens coming out at younger ages is a rise in hate crimes and violence against gay students in school, he said. The GLBT community was shocked and saddened earlier this year when Californian middle school student Lawrence King was shot to death in his computer class after sending another male student a valentine. "More teens being out and open is a positive thing. It's good to celebrate being out and open" Solmonese said. "But we still have work to do to curb that violence among young people and raise tolerance." Educating and exposing kids to gay culture and lifestyles at a younger age, before high school, Solmonese said, is needed to help prevent hate crimes from happening in the future. None of the public middle schools in Attleboro offer gay-straight alliances or any student support groups - something Solmonese said is needed to build a welcoming and friendly culture for all students. Felicia agrees. "I think it's a good idea," she said. "Teaching kids earlier that it's OK will help stop the teasing we have now." And though Attleboro High is a far more accepting environment than it was during Solmonese's teenage years, Felicia said more work needs to be done. "It could be a lot worse," she said. "But it could be a lot better too." "It's a two-steps forward, one-step back kind of thing," Kocet said. "We'll make political progress, and the next day a hate crime will be committed. "We can't just rest, thinking we've done everything we can."