They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks - but just how old does the dog have to be before he's deemed unteachable?

Take me, for example; I'm about 4-1/2 in dog years - not too old, but certainly not a puppy anymore. I'd like to think that I still have some new tricks up my aging sleeve, something involving a chewed-up tennis ball perhaps.

I'll admit, it was definitely easier learning new things back when I was a young pup chasing my tail and running after butterflies. My movements were spry, my brain was spongy and mutable, my drool was clear and honey-scented. Tackling new and unfamiliar tasks was a joy; it was exciting and adventurous.

I remember at my first karate class (we can suspend the dog metaphor for now, unless you can picture a canine doing martial arts), one of the first things the instructor told us was, "Be patient; you'll feel like you have two left feet at first."

I looked down at my agile young feet and thought, "He's crazy." But once he started bellowing out commands, he proved himself right. All of my movements - the kicks, the punches, the blocks - were so new and unfamiliar to me that when my brain said "Right," my body said "Left."

Fortunately, I laughed off my confusion and soon enough my body and brain got on the same page.

Fast-forward a few dog years to last weekend when my friend was giving me my first bass lesson. "You'll feel like you have two left feet at first."

I rolled my eyes, not even trying to imagine how one would play the bass guitar with one (or two) left feet.

But once we started, he proved himself right; my fingers were not used to plucking and hammering-on. My brain said "Right" and my body said "Left." Instead of laughing off this awkward feeling as I would have in my younger days, my fur bristled at the thought of having so much trouble with something. I was tempted to give up and spend the rest of the day sniffing rear ends and rolling in the mud.

As a more experienced dog I've gotten used to doing things that I do well. The longer you live, the easier it is to rely on your experience and knowingly avoid the discomfort of things unfamiliar and new. This is why the old dog is so hesitant to learn new tricks; it doesn't feel that good and it's a major pain in the furry rear end.

Despite my frustrations I finished my bass lesson out of sheer determination (otherwise known as stubbornness). When I picked up the bass the next day, and the next, and the next, the discomfort faded and a slight sense of accomplishment began to bud. That's when I realized that any sense of mastery must first be preceded by the discomfort of learning something new.

So if that's what it takes to stay young and spry and nimble, then bring it on. I will seek out that two-left-feet feeling. This old dog will learn new tricks.

BILL ZUCK has taken up chewing tennis balls in his spare time. You can reach him at wcz78@yahoo.com.