For Christmas this year, my family will be receiving a pretty unusual stocking stuffer from me. I'm sure it's not on their wish lists, and it probably won't bring much joy to their hearts. It's not fun, it's not fashionable, and it may not be very memorable. It's cheap and cannot be returned for store credit; it will most likely sit on a lonely shelf, unused, gathering dust for years to come.

So why am I going to the trouble of giving this gift?

It's one of those things that, in the event that you need it, you would hate not to have.

This unlikeliest of holiday gifts: it's my advance directive.

As you sit down to supper with your family this holiday season, look around the table and ask yourself - how much do you really know about their end-of-life wishes? Buried or cremated? Large funeral or small, private ceremony? What do they think about hospice? Life support? Feeding tubes? It's a morbid topic of conversation, to be sure (and one which you probably shouldn't bring up if you are visiting your new in-laws for the first time). But a brief, honest talk is all it takes to answer these questions. Filling out an advance directive gives you a chance to make your wishes known, and to choose a person to carry them out.

In the unfortunate event that something bad happens to me and I am unable to make health care decisions for myself, I do not want my secret nemesis to suddenly appear and make those decisions for me. And I don't want my loved ones to be in the dark about what they should tell my doctors to do for me.

There are a number of different formats out there - and specifics vary from state to state - but most states (Massachusetts included) honor the Five Wishes packet (which can be ordered at www.agingwithdignity.org) as a legal, easy-to-understand advance directive.

This packet walks you through the process of naming your Health Care Agent, who will make important decisions for you if you can't (Hint: don't put your nemesis's name on here). It allows you to spell out your medical wishes so that your Health Care Agent will know what to do, should you slip into a coma, for example.

As gloomy as it sounds, the Five Wishes packet helps you to identify your preferences for your own funeral as well. Don't scoff - this is your chance to let your family know, in writing, that you want them to plant a tree in your memory, or release a dove at your burial, or serve Twinkies and chocolate milkshakes at your memorial service.

Plus you can remind your mother/spouse/offspring that under absolutely no circumstances are they allowed to throw away your baseball card collection.

Advance directives are certainly not the most popular topic of conversation around the dinner table.

But this holiday season, for a few moments I'll be sharing my end-of-life wishes with my family, whether they want to hear them or not. It's a gift that I hope they never have to use - but some day if they do, I'll know that long ago I stuffed it into their stockings.

BILL ZUCK plans to outlive his secret nemesis and take his baseball cards. You can reach him at wcz78@yahoo.com.