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SEEKONK - Should you do "anything" to make a relationship work? If your partner insists that you always hold hands in public, should you? Should a partner understand you need time with your friends?

Those are some of the questions that confronted students in David Rubin's health class at Seekonk High School last week.

They were participating in the Katie Brown Educational Program to combat relationship violence.

The program was founded in 2001 to memorialize and honor the life of a 20-year-old Barrington, R.I., woman killed by a young man she had dated off and on since high school.

The premise of the program is promoting respectful relationships and providing alternatives to violent behavior. Seekonk High nurse Pat Rok was able to offer the program with a grant through the Bristol County District Attorney's Office.

While not a confession session, the class activities are aimed at engaging and encouraging teens to think about their dating relationships.

During this class, the second in the week-long program this semester, the students were asked about what makes a healthy relationship, then were split into groups to go through 14 scenarios of dating expectations, deeming whether they were "fair" or "unfair."

"If my partner really cares about our relationship, he would do anything to make it work," read a scenario card in one of the groups that included senior Molly Crippen.

The group sent that scenario to the "unfair" pile "because we understand he could do anything, but it could be extreme," Crippen said.

A card reading, "My partner should want to show affection or hold hands in public all of the time" also went into the "unfair" pile.

"You don't have to all of the time," Crippen said.

She and student Tonya Spano said the hand-holding could make one of the partners uncomfortable and lead to jealousy.

A card reading, "My partner should understand I need time with my friends" went into the "fair" pile.

Nicholas Auclair, a sophomore, acknowledged what's being learned in the class could help in the real world of teen relationships. "It's good," he said.

Rok said she worked to bring the program to the school because she and her husband have been financial supporters of the effort.

"I think teen dating violence is a big thing," she said. "Teens are not even aware of violence, and I think they should be aware, especially if they're involved in a relationship and even in future relationships."

In a discussion following the group activity, program facilitator Fran Errante prompted students to share what their feelings might be if they encountered some of the situations presented.

A couple of students were unsure whether avoiding conflicts with a partner was a good thing.

"Every time there is an expectation, there is an outcome," said Claire Spaulding, another program facilitator leading the discussion.

If a conflict arises and is not dealt with, it could fester and build until one of the partners in the relationship finally blows up in anger.

It could be something small, like having to repeatedly watch TV with a partner when you would rather do something else, or always eating Chinese food because it's what he wants, Errante said.

Respect, trust and honesty are the cornerstones of a relationship and open communication is key, Errante said.

"Can we tell our partner what to do?" she asked.

"Well, we could, but...." said one male student.

"But what does that do to a relationship?" Errante said. "How can you make it better?"

"Sometimes, there's a middle road," she said.

SUSAN LaHOUD can be reached at 508-236-0398 or at slahoud@thesunchronicle.com.