Years ago, when I was learning to drive, the state issued a slim, blue-covered, pamphlet that outlined the traffic rules of the commonwealth. Stuff like what a stop sign was, who had right of way at an intersection and the speed limit in school zones.

Of course it also covered how to make sure you got up a good head of steam and what to do when approaching a horse-drawn carriage. OK, not really.

It did include a brief message from Gov. Francis Sargent inviting me to enjoy driving in this historic and beautiful commonwealth and sternly warning me against doing so while intoxicated.

Recently, when my older daughter was learning to drive, she was issued an instruction manual roughly the size of a John Grisham novel, only better written, that went into much greater detail about motor vehicle laws and such issues as what to do in case of an accident and even more dire warnings about operating under the influence.

Separated as they are by time, technology and legislative history, one thing that both these volumes have in common is simply this: Their contents have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with how people actually operate motor vehicles. Not that people leave their homes and head out onto the roads with the intention of breaking the law (unless, of course, they learned to drive in Rhode Island), it's just that the manuals, whatever their vintage, don't cover situations drivers face every day.

For example, the manual will always tell you to slow down when a traffic light turns yellow. Has anyone ever, EVER done this?

What we need are a set of more realistic rules of the road.

1) When approaching a traffic signal that has just turned red, there's a slight delay before the signal for the other drivers turns green, but there is no way to be exactly certain just what that time period is. The question you must answer is, Are you feeling lucky?

2) When two vehicles approach an intersection at the same time, the right of way goes to the person with the scarier bumper stickers. ("My kid can beat up your honor student," for example.)

3) You should always alert other drivers to your intent to change lanes by using your directional signal. But if you suddenly remember in the middle of changing lanes that you forgot to do so, it's a nice gesture to flick it a couple of times as a courtesy.

4) Always yield the right of way to any vehicle that has more dents than yours.

If you have more rules, just send them to the address at the end of this column.

But please, don't drive them over.

TOM REILLY is a Sun Chronicle news editor and bad driving authority, with the tickets to prove it.. Contact him at 508-235-0332 or at treilly@thesunchronicle.com . Read his blog at thesunchronicle.com/reilly.