I really need to stop surfing the Internet in the middle of the night.

It's usually a weeknight when it happens. I should have gone to bed long ago, but my right hand keeps clicking the mouse and my dry, tired eyes keep scanning the computer screen in an effort to fill my brain with more useless information.

On most nights I'm scouring the Internet for injury information about my fantasy football players. But on the night in question, I somehow stumbled onto something quite different.

It was a video of an excited guy talking about how his life had changed through the power of visualization. Thousands of dollars in debt, he imagines a jet-setting lifestyle and within 90 days, he's living it. Though fuzzy on the details of his turnaround (real estate investments? lottery winnings? bank heist?), he has plenty to say about the Law of Attraction - that if you concentrate hard enough on what you want, it will come to you.

Popularized recently by the video and book, "The Secret," the Law of Attraction takes the power of positive thinking and pumps it full of performance-enhancing drugs. Wish for a new Ferrari - really, really wish for it - and it will be yours. This kind of drivel normally doesn't interest me, but as I sat in front of my computer way past my bedtime, I resolved to give it a try. I decided to make myself a millionaire. The next morning I should have put that ridiculous resolution aside. But be it good mood or poor judgment or spiked coffee, I didn't. I began my journey of wishing my bank account into the seven-digit realm.

Day One: I thought a lot about being a millionaire and how it would happen. I could write a best-selling book (a novel about a boy named Gary Plodder going off to wizard school) or sell a cheap commodity at a huge mark-up (we have bottled water, why not bottled air?).

Day Two: Forgot about my resolution until bedtime. Sat up thinking about swimming in a mountain of cash and had a nightmare about drowning in dirty nickels.

Day Three: I'm a millionaire! Just kidding. Still wishing.

Day Four: Imagined what I'd do with a million dollars. Invest it and live off the dividends without touching the principal? Spent it on a huge house and cars and vacations, leaving me with nothing but large heating bills and multiple car insurance payments? Having an imaginary million dollars was never so stressful.

Day Five: I could drop out of school and start a software company in my garage! No. I could make a Web site where people can buy and sell their own stuff! No. I could steal flat-screen TVs and sell them on eBay! No.

Day Six: Nervous about how my million might come to me. Would I get hit by a bus and sue the city for pain and suffering? Is that how I want to become a millionaire?

Day Seven: Still wishing, still waiting. Not a millionaire yet, for better or for worse. I'm going to keep trying. I've also got to start going to bed on time instead of listening to what the Internet tells me.

BILL ZUCK promises he'll tell you if he becomes a millionaire, and sell you a motivational DVD of his story. You can reach him at wcz78@yahoo.com.