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Last modified: Friday, October 23, 2009 2:19 AM EDT
REILLY: Forecast calls for cliches
With the approach of winter, we are all going to be paying close attention to weather forecasts.
And they deserve some attention, because in this competitive media age TV, radio and Internet sources of weather data are all vying for your viewership and are deploying all their technological wizardry and marketing savvy to get and keep it. They just seem to have trouble telling you if it's going to snow or not.
Which is why we are turning to an expert in the field, Mr. Arbuthnot.
Q: Mr. Arbuthnot, you are an expert in weather cliches, correct?
A: Actually, I'm a recognized expert in my field, well regarded and even world renowned.
Q: Can you tell us, though, what kind of snowstorm we'll get this winter.
A: Well, of course, it will be a "major snow storm" but we won't "get it."
Q: We won't?
A: No, it will be "bearing down on us" as an "old-fashioned Nor'easter."
Q: Will this storm be accompanied by winds?
A: By blustery winds, yes, and perhaps even gusty ones.
Q: Could these cause power outages?
A: Possibly scattered ones, but my money's on widespread outages.
Q: And how about snow?
A: We try to avoid the "S-word" but we'll get piles of the "white stuff" to be sure.
Q: And will it get cold this winter?
A: Oh no.
Q: No?
A: Of course not. We'll have temperatures plunging into the single digits, naturally, and bone-chilling temperatures. But "cold?" I think not.
Q: When these storms approach - I'm sorry, bear down on us - what should we do with our hatches?
A: We should batten them down.
Q: Have you ever seen a battened hatch, Mr. Arbuthnot?
A: I can't say that I have.
Q: What will highway departments be doing with salt and sand when faced with these storms?
A: They'll be stockpiling them, of course, and putting road crews on alert.
Q: Alert?
A: Excuse me, "high alert."
Q: So we can expect some pretty bad storms, then.
A: No, but we can anticipate some severe weather and even "wild weather."
Q: What would qualify as "wild weather," Mr. A?
A: Anything we haven't forecast 24 hours in advance.
Q: Where will these predictions happen, by the way?
A: In our Storm Center, of course, staffed by our Storm Team with our Storm Tracker technology, supplemented by our Doppler radar.
Q: And what, exactly, is "Doppler" radar.
A: No one knows but it's pretty clear it's better than plain, ordinary vanilla radar.
Q: Finally, Mr. Arbuthnot, what should we all be doing about the weather this winter?
A: I don't know about you, but I'll be keeping a weather eye on it. |
