Take a closer look at your list of things to do for this weekend. Grocery shopping: check. Laundry: check. Take out the trash: check. Decide what to do with the next three years of your life: check.

This last item is no joke. According to some very knowledgeable folks, these next three years might be the final three years of your life. It's probably time to get your affairs in order, pronto.

I usually scoff at doomsday predictions and ignore people who tell me that the end of the world is upon us. But when John Cusack speaks, I listen. And this weekend he is speaking up in a big way in a new film called 2012.

This theory is based on the Mayan calendar. Like us, the ancient Maya celebrated Columbus Day each October and had a lot of new car sales on Presidents Day weekend. But that's where the similarities between our calendars end. Their calendar kept time in units of 20 and had a fairly definite starting point and ending point. That ending point corresponds to Dec. 21, 2012.

Although researchers can't say for sure what is destined to happen on that date, the Maya left behind many etchings and scripts for us to interpret. The Mayan writings predict that on the morning of Dec. 21, 2012, John Cusack and Amanda Peet and some screaming children will drive a car very fast to avoid being swallowed up into the ground. They will then fly in a plane while seeing the end of the earth, with the most devastating destruction centering on major cities and landmarks. Meanwhile, thousands of people will bear witness to this mass destruction and be so awed they will be unable to do anything except sit and stuff their faces with popcorn and soda and maybe some Dots while they watch.

Before you dismiss this theory as being a load of bunk, keep in mind that the ancient Mayan civilization was very advanced. They developed their own written language, mathematical system, and a top-notch cellular phone network. The Mayas can be credited with inventing the sextant, the pencil, mashed potatoes, Quidditch, and staring contests.

So who are you to say that they didn't know the world would end three years from now, and that it would be brought to us by Columbia Pictures. If I were you, I would take this warning seriously and start planning for the end of the world, just three years from now.

Take stock of your life. Tell your family and friends that you love them. Crack open your piggy bank and spend your money on whatever you've been saving it for. Start stockpiling champagne and noisemakers and party hats. Get ready for the event of a lifetime on Dec. 21, 2012. Do it even if you don't believe the warnings. Because if we're still here and alive on the morning of Dec. 22, 2012, at least we can all say we had a heck of a party.

And in the meantime, if you see John Cusack cruising by, get into his car and tell him to drive very fast so the earth doesn't swallow him up. I'm sure he'll appreciate the warning.

BILL ZUCK has his own calendar, which measures time in units of ice cream sundaes. You can reach him at wcz78@yahoo.com.