He was all legs and arms - this first date of my daughter. In navy blue short-sleeved button-down shirt, khaki shorts and patterned tie, he appeared at our doorstep for the first time 16 years ago.

In his hand he had flowers for Katie and when we opened the door, he had flowers for me. He walked into our home and into my heart. Over the years, through the stages of life and across the many miles, in our minds and eyes he grew in size and in accomplishments into a man of grace, courage and character.

Shortly after we witnessed his pinning ceremony at Martin School, I had a deep conversation with Kyle VanDeGeisen.

I questioned his willingness to be a Marine - this oft-spoken child and young adult goal. I talked of the strong likelihood of being placed in a war zone where there was the even stronger possibility of dying. I asked him if he really knew what he would be willing to die for.

He said he would give his life for his family. Understood - so would I. But I said that his family was here and he responded that the Marines were his family too. He would give his life for his family of Marines. I pushed him further and said this family and the Marines are all in the United States, so why did he have to go someplace other than the United States?

I asked him if soldiers who went to places such as Iraq or Iran or Afghanistan did so because they really believed in what they were fighting for - a value, a physical something, a tradition, or some other undefined promise - or were they fighting because it was their job and that is what they were to do.

I told him that I wasn't sure if I felt so passionate about some thing or some value that I would give my life for it.

My life or my home? - take the house. My life or the truth - I'll bend it. What was it that he believed in so strongly and so passionately that was worth more than his life and the effect of his life on others? He looked me square in the eye and said "I believe in my country."

In the days that followed that conversation, I told many folks about this young man of such firm convictions. In the recent days, I have told even more.

As middle aged adults, many a time we have conversed with our peers and after observing actions of the young set, commented on "what is this country coming to?"

After witnessing the actions of Kyle's peers in these past two weeks, and hearing more of Kyle's life and death for our nation, we are in good hands - and I am humbled in thankfulness.

SHEILA FISHER lives in North Attleboro.