As a social worker helping older adults who have Alzheimer's and other types of dementia, I am frequently the recipient of unsolicited advice about my life. Thanks to the effects of short-term memory loss, this advice is given to me day after day, week after week. Even if I wanted to ignore these words of wisdom, with all the repetition it would be tough to eliminate them from my mind.

Don't misunderstand; I'm not complaining about getting so much advice over and over again. I'm more than happy to listen and smile as I accept nuggets of wisdom handed to me from the beneficiaries of 80-plus years of experience and intelligence. I'm flattered that they care enough about me to want to let me in on the secrets to a happy existence. And all the better if it gives them a feeling of satisfaction to be helping such a nice young man on his journey through life.

But sometimes I can't help but smile as I think about trying to integrate all of this advice into my daily life. Some of it centers around cars and driving. I should always buy American. I should never buy a new car because it loses most of its value right away. I should always buy a new car because life is too short to pass up on a new car when you can afford it. I should pay cash because being in debt will lead me to financial ruin. And I should stay away from the highways, where these young crazy drivers are going way too fast. Hopefully I am not one of those young crazy drivers going way too fast. Of course I am not.

The majority of the advice I receive centers around marriage and children. Don't I have children yet? I should hurry up and get married so I can have some kids. Children will bring me so much happiness. And will make my remaining hair turn gray and fall out. Fatherhood is the best experience and will take years off my life. I should never get married because I will lose my independence and never be allowed to drink beer and watch football. If I do get married, I should make sure to pick a wife who cooks well. And cleans. And looks pretty. And has child-bearing hips.

Sprinkled in with this advice are observations about how spoiled, unruly, adorable, lucky and entitled kids are these days. Kids, with their video games and cell phones and junk food and reality television. I used to nod and grin at these complaints, secretly thinking how out of touch these old folks were. But lately there's been less smugness and more agreement in my silent smiles. Because who can understand today's kids? Twilight? Twitter? Lady Gaga? Nonsense! Before I know it I'm sure I'll be trying to pass on my wisdom to some youngster. If you want a reliable car, buy Japanese. Never go slower than 55 if you want to survive on the highway. Turn into the skid. Better yet, don't skid in the first place. Find a pretty girl who likes beer and football as much as you do. And always listen to your elders. Over and over again.

BILL ZUCK already enjoys telling the same stories over and over again. You can reach him at wcz78@yahoo.com.