If it stops raining, maybe like today, you’ll get a chance to throw a couple of dogs on the grill. Go for it.

I like all hot dogs, from ones with the “woiks” at Tex Barry’s to microwaved dogs in soft rolls with only their own juices.

Well, there is a long-standing major problem in hot dog culture and steps are finally being taken to remedy it.

I guess you have to tackle the littler problems since, in a free country, you can’t stop unvaccinated people from killing themselves and others out of arrogance and fear.

But I digress. What is the hot dog problem? Dogs come in 10 packs, rolls in eight packs. This is easily explained by the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council — yes, that’s a real entity. Dogs come in 10 packs because of the weight of the meat. Hot dog rolls come in eight packs because they are baked in clusters of four pans designed to hold eight rolls. Got it?

This conundrum has attracted a big gun, namely the Heinz Ketchup folks of Pittsburgh — you know, like in the Steelers’ home field and Mrs. John Kerry. The Heinz people are circulating a petition labeled “10 wieners. 10 buns. It’s time.” It has upwards of 16,000 signatures. But it’s early.

Have some time on your hands? You can vote at www.change.org. And pass the habanero sauce.

Saturday sermon

“He who laughs last doesn’t get it.”

— Helen Giangregorio


“I cannot imagine the flag of one’s country emanating such ‘warmth and welcome’ as do the images of a hammer and sickle,” writes Sandra Levine about last week’s Smarter question. “I realize these symbols were supposed to show the strength of the people, but it seemed to me they really showed the anger and intolerance of any resistance to government ideas and actions.”

She adds: “I remember as a kid cutting grass around our barn with a sickle and scythe — no riding lawnmowers then.”

And this story of intrigue: “In the early 1970s I was living in the DC area,” writes Vincent Forte. “I went to see a friend play rugby. After the A squad played there was one more person needed for the B squad. My friend pulled off his red-and-white jersey and told me to play. I survived the game and decided to join the club. The team was sponsored by an international studies graduate school. The school’s coach had a strong Australian accent.”

“Several years ago I was visiting DC and ran into one of my rugby teammates. He told me that he recently met our coach. The coach had no Australian accent, as he told my friend that he actually had been a CIA operative who had to use the accent for security while he was in DC.”

So you’re so smart …

Last week I bet you couldn’t tell me what 20-year-old became in 1967 the youngest winner ever of what contest?

My answer: Arnold Schwarzenegger, crowned Mr. Universe in the world bodybuilding championships. Lisa M. submitted the only correct answer.

Other readers guessed Boston Marathon runner Katherine Switzer, Bobby Fisher, Muhammad Ali and Jesse Owens.

“Of course, I had to look it up,” grouses DRZ. “Talk about obscure trivia!” Hey, don’t blame me, blame Joe, who last week complained my question was too easy.

Now, I bet you can’t tell me, without looking it up, what body of water north of Iran is the world’s largest inland sea. Deadline for responding is 10 a.m. Wednesday.

Columns for Kids

Donations can be sent to The Greater Attleboro Area Council for Children, PO Box 424, North Attleboro, MA 02761.

Its website is www.councilforchildren.org. And make sure you note that your donation is for Columns for Kids.

Thanks. See you next week.

ORESTE P. D’ARCONTE is a former publisher of The Sun Chronicle. Reach him at opd999@gmail.com

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